Dear Summer

Dear Summer fruits like strawberries, blueberries and cherries: I love you guys. You have my eternal gratitude so much for providing two of my last three meals and helping me avoid turning on the stove lately. Summer movies like Lemony Snicket, Breaking Away, The Sandlot - you're the best. Summer festivals like the French, Greek and of course Fiesta- love you, hate the parking problems you cause.

Dear cats (in summertime) - Can we please cease and desist from the daily destruction of my closet, the shower curtain liner, and any other items your little paws can find? I'm sure you must be familiar enough with the contents of my small dresser that you no longer need to CLIMB INSIDE it to check my supply of underthings. Remember the other "morning" (it was still dark, but we'll call it morning) when I heard a "CliNk! Pop! and the slathering noise of plastic against porcelain and I sighed, "mmmaaaah! I think they just tore down part of the shower curtain..." and went back to sleep? I was right. You also managed to jump up into the top of my closet and knock down those neatly folded bins again...why?

Dear McConnells Cinnamon Ice Cream with chocolate brownie chunks on top - I think I could love you, now kindly leave my imagination before you take up permanant residence on my thighs.

Dear Summerland Beach/Loon Point Naked People: Put some clothes on, for the love of all that is holy. You are old, your business is old and that business should be hidden under many, many layers of clothing.

Dear fan, ice cubes and cool drinks: Thanks for keeping the sweat (mostly) away in my little postage stamp of a house. We couldn't survive without you.

Dear "summer wine" rose: I still don't get it. Sorry, I know you're the new darling of the wine drinkers, but the only rose I've ever liked was that one in the Hunter Valley, and it doesn't appear that we're heading to the incomparable Esca at Bimbadgen winery any time soon. Last night it was hot enough to roast a turkey in our office, and I still didn't manage to finish my measly, pink half-glass.

Dear Lindsay: Thanks a million and one times for letting me borrow the first season of South Park. Scott is totally laughing at the one with Mega Streisand. I'm coming back to the Purple Person Place (aka your adorable apartment) and getting the second season, asap.

Dear Weird Tiredness: Please go far, far away and land on someone else's head. I have so many things to do and I cannot nap like a four year old. I don't have time!

Dear Summer Reading List: I love you and your potentially endless possibilities, even if I never finish you. I was so happy when I was able to share your wonders with a young friend.

Dear Readers. Lurkers of Stoppers-by: Give me a topic, please!