Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Don't call me ... any of these

I picked this as a blogger 'name' so it was a little bit more private (well, as private as you can be when you put such copious amounts of self-portraiture up). It comes from working at my old office - I used to manage (read: take the blame for any problems, re-stock everything, handle everyone's stuff and be there at all hours of operation) a small office. My old boss used to announce his entry by saying, "Meeep-pers!" as he swung the door open, a practice that was totally redundant since we'd already a) spied him driving in from one of our windows b) closed all non-work browser windows c) stowed our magazines/makeup/margaritas d) put on our "busy" faces and shuffled around papers so as to look very, very busy. Over the next few years, we all got in the habit of doing it, first in a mocking manner and then because it was just ..... habit.

Oddly enough, in Real Life, I've got many, many nicknames - most of which have at least a couple of derivatives and many of which make Absolutely No Sense or Are Totally Not Funny...unless you were there. So really, this is just a.... blog-lette? In which I explain why I am called the following at various different times, by various people.
-Pipp, Pippi, Pip the Whip, Pippi Longstockings (well, of course!) Given to me by my darling mother. If I call her right now, there is about a fifty percent chance that she will squeal, "PiiiiiiiiPeeeee!". I keep trying to tell her that I'm not an apple seed or a freckled redhea....wait, I DID just get a bunch of red in my hair. Hmmm.
-Rula. Rulalenska. Madame Rula/lenska. Thanks, again, Mom! What she's saying here is that I'm dramatic. I'M DRAMATIC!

-Helkum, Helkum Bagel - An interesting one. You pronounce "Helkum" the way you pronounce "Challah bread" or "Hannukuh" -with the phlegmy "gchhh" sound at the beginning. Given to me by my lovely friend Jason about ten years ago. My family (he counts as family, as does his lovely wife Sunny and thier crazy kids) and some friends were up at a local swimming hole, Red Rock. Somehow I managed to become the Designated Towel/Cooler/Chair/stuff-holder both on the way in and out. Since I didn't have enough limbs to carry fifteen large towels, I started wrapping them around and over my head and arms until I looked something like this:

  • So Jason turned to me, and shouted, "HELKUM! HELKUM BAGEL, is that you under there?"

  • -Hilare (from my friend Dani) also "Longcase" and "Meera" ... leftovers from high school, where I spent a good amount of time being the Walking Cliff notes for most of our graduating class*, weakly fending off both wanted (and unwanted) advances from Boys, and wishing I was done, already. When I graduated at 17, I immediately realized I'd been correct in 80% of my thinking. I'm not a "classroom" learner, never have been.
    *Someday remind me to explain how about The Time I tried to tell Dani the Plot of Julias Cesar, or The Time I Accidentally Staged a Mass Walk-Out, or How I Skipped My Senior English Final.
    -Pia, Pia Butt, P.B. Peeb. This is the one that I both hate, and get called....the most.
    -Frwog (like Frog with a speech impediment) apparently I look like this in the morning:
  • Aren't you glad you aren't there?

  • -Little Broiled Flounder (see above)
    -myname/Papaya - its the only thing that rhymes, and in our family, it goes with this little ditty. A-hem, tweeeeet! (blows on pitch-pipe)
    "There once was a girl named xxxx,
    Who lived in the land of Hawaii-a;
    She hopped out of bed,
    and it must be said,
    Politely demanded papaya."

    Yes, I have a strange family. I love them very, very much. This song was made up by my mom and aunt when I was a wee small 'un. Yes, I've been to Hawaii, no I've never lived there, and for the record I find papaya to be the only fruit I've ever had that I do NOT like.

    -Windjammer (only as a kid when I was learning to talk and never, ever shut up)
    -Smitty - who knows?
    -Ayah - as in the faithful Indian nanny type, who used to care for the priveleged children of Britan who lived in India way back when. Only called this by my friend Gnat. Hmm.... She IS light... and I was always very dark at the time - too much Kipling, anyone?

    Really, its a wonder I've not had an identity crisis and Fynn has about 35 psudonyms.
    Does anyone else have this problem? What are (or were) you called? Did you like it or hate it? Why/why not? Do/will you nickname any children or pets you have/will have?

    Oh, and I forgot one:


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    Meepers said...
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