Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Tigers in the House

Today we took Fynn and Edie for their annual checkup out at "their" doctor, erm, vet Dr. Bud Stewart. Note to pet owners in Santa Barbara: This guy is the best vet ever! Since this was the first visit for Edie, I was a little bit worried that she'd be going into puff-tailed, scratching hysterics (PTSH). The problem with PTSH is that I generally end up with that attractive "drunken suicide attempt" look on my wrists, arms and chest, and I have a wedding on Saturday. Fynn is usually fine at the vets' office, but hates, loathes and detests the car with the fire of a thousand burning suns. This detest is usually expressed in his worst "child of the undead sings Verdi's lesser-known arias" voice. The voice starts up the second his carrier gently touches down on the upholstery of the car and generally stops whenever he decides that the amount of blood coming from my eardrums is sufficient to salve his wounded dignity.

Last night, I hauled out Fynns' carrier so the two of them could get used to it without thinking they were in trouble (I've been known to stuff them both in it for brief "time-outs" when they fight - works like a charm). Two delicate pink noses twitched and sniffed the nooks and crannies of the cage, and pretty soon Fynn was inside it with Edie swatting playfully at him through the grill of the door. What could I possibly be worried about?

When we woke up this morning, I felt immediately guilty and started stroking their heads and backs with a little extra love. Two pairs of big, round innocent eyes looked back at me, uncomprehending of the trama ahead of them. Edie stretched, her back one graceful arc from the nape of her neck to the circle of her tail. Fynn snorted a gentle protest at being woken, slit his eyes, and drifted back to sleep with a cavernous yawn.

Cut to me, two hours later, wrangling the carriers into the back of the car, hissing at Scott to 'turn that noise OFF, fortheloveofPete!' - that noise being classical music. Opening salvos of "child of the undead" voice start to emerge from Fynn's carrier. Edie: Silent. The little cream puff didn't make so much as a "meee" in the car until ten minutes into our journey when she let forth an experimental "mew?" in a tiny voice, just to keep Fynn company. He, on the other hand, was acting like we'd dipped his hind end in boiling oil and attached hermit crabs to each of his toes. We hauled them into the doctors' office, hitched Fynn to his harness and let him poke around a little bit - no doubt he was searching for an exit.

One hundred and mrrrmph-rassafrassa dollars, four jabs, two checkups, two treats and one each bottle of vitamins (Edie) and new bag of new cat food (both) later: I plunked them both in the big carrier to comfort each other while Scott got a haircut across the way.

They were both pronounced "Absolutely immaculate and perfectly healthy" (bathe your cats before you take them to the vet, he'll love it) and "a very cute little family". After we get Edie fixed next week, they will now both be officially ready to stay at their luxury digs, the Cat House Hotel (large double suite, please) should we need to go away for more than a night or so. Come to think of it, with what they've cost us this week, we could go away for a nice weekend at our own luxury hotel.

Here's a note from my vet: Most American pets, like their owners, are overweight. Please fix your pet(s), keep up with their jabs, and don't overfeed them- he says you should be able to to easily feel (not see) their ribs. Cats are carnivores, and need only about 25-30 percent of their diet to be dry food, with the rest being wet food or scrapmeats. Dogs can be healthy vegetarians with the proper supplementation. Horses.... ok, I'm kidding. Now go lower your blood pressure by twenty points by sitting down and petting your cat, or get your cardio by running your dog.

It was worth every last penny to know that a) they are doing great b) we won't have to repeat the two-cat experience for another year.


Lynn said...

Great news.

(I wish I could be pronounced absolutely immaculate and perfectly healthy.)

Meepers said...

Me too! I was saying to scott, you know, they aren't the ONLY ones who should have a check-up - I haven't been to the doctor (you know...ugh) in sooo long its not even funny. But alas, funds say that Cats Rule, People ... Wait till later.

LindsayJustine said...

the cat house hotel is sweet. Bubba loves it there...

the sightspeed guy said...

Ah pets. So little care, and they give so much love.


Dawn said...

Loved the Cat House--miss the Cat House. We take our 3 cats and 2 dogs to the vet at the same time. I refuse to make more than one trip. I must say it is quite the experience.

Your kitties are so so cute.

Meepers said...

Yes, the little furred ones are a real joy for the relatively small amounts of money we spend on them.