Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Irrefutable Evidence

  1. The doctor at Urgent Care takes one look at your throat and says, "Ummm...I'm not even going to bother culturing that. Eeeeeew!" (yes, I got an "Eeeewww!" from a Real Doctor - how gross does that mean my throat is?)
  2. You may prefer to spit into a small paper cup, as though you had suddenly taken up chewing tabacco, instead of swallowing.
  3. Your tonsils appear to be growing towards each other, sort of the reverse of what Alaska and Japan are doing due to global warming.
  4. Turning your entire body instead of your neck sounds perfectly reasonable.
  5. You have the notion that all of your joints may or may not be filled with tiny fragments of glass.
  6. Fever-induced dreams you've had included activities such as having a dance-off while seated and singing "Taxman" by the Beatles. (When singing in public is only slightly less mortifying than, say, peeing, in public.)
  7. After forgoing solids for a couple of days, you a) give the guy at Blenders both a $20.00 and a $1.00 bill for a $6.78 purchase, realize what you're doing and b) almost tip him a $10.00 bill. Almost.
  8. Cannot manage to swallow your shake from Blenders, except to down the oral steroids that the doctor prescribed after seeing your disgusting Alaska-meets-Japan tonsils and lymph nodes.
  9. Dizziness forces you to sit down on a couch at the office you're subbing in for, and you stay there for an hour. Possibly asleep.
  10. Yawning is pure, unadulterated torture that brings tears to your eyes.
  11. Writing pointless lists like this one. My apologies.

5 comments:

Fizzle said...

That sounds horrible! Take care of yourself, Meepers. I hope someone's feeding you soup and listening to tales of singing Beatle dreams....

Get better.

Meepers said...

Unfortunately, it is 90...million degrees here.
Fortunately I have Dr. Scott, assistant Fynn and Nurse Edie to get me Blenders, try and make me eat soup, and keep me warm. Ha!

I 'burned' a bunch of my sickness out last night via hot weather + fever + warm cat on stomach. Woke up sweaty, took a shower, went to bed and feel much, much better today.

That is, at least I can turn my neck without wanting to cry.

Janet said...

Oh no! I hope you feel much better soon.

Pony said...

I hate to tell you this, but I had the same thing a few years ago... It lasted for two weeks, I think, and it was (hate to tell you) extremely painful for the entire two weeks. I too got a comment of disgust from the Doctor, but I shut my mouth on his fingers when he said that, so that should teach him for the next patient with such ailments. ;) I had to take some heavyduty antibiotics, which are horrible for your intestines, but thank god, it worked. I will send you some supplements to take during and after your antibiotics. Love you... Feel better soon!!
Roni
PS: Stock up on little Dixie cups to spit in. I had to spit out my saliva for at least a week because it seriously made me cry every single time I tried to swallow. At least I lost a couple pounds that way!! LOL

Chiada said...

Stupid Blogger is messing with me. I actually did post you a comment earlier - I was # 2!! But I guess it didn't get recorded. Same thing happened with my recent post. Lost to la-la-land. Anyways, go get some curry or tom-kha-kai soup; spices do wonder for me when I'm sick. Hugs & kisses!