Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year...

An Ode to Candy Corn - (Meant only partially in jest.)

Just as Willy Wonka would surely say,
(if he were only real and with us today)
"There should be a poem for every bit of candy
even though liquor is quicker, sweets are dandy."
So this is my ode as each October, a special joy is born,
and I renew my deep and unabiding love of candy corn.
Unlike many, I take delight in their triangular little shapes,
and wish that they could be found acceptable as canapes.
That superlative original honey-vanilla-fake carmel drop,
not that "indian corn", "cupid corn", "bunny corn" slop...
Makes the fall season come alive with warmth and joy for me
In a way unlike those imposters that are 'flavored naturally'.
So mock me, mock me, if you will, for savoring this childish treat
But make sure that you use the right method, should you eat-
Yellow tops first, than the tiny white tips, orange centers last,
While you dream sweet-flavored dreams of autumns past.

You're either on my side here, or not - there is no middle ground here, sadly. Of course, the best time to purchase it is the day after Halloween.


Pony said...

Oh, I love this stuff too! Except my mode d'operation is tip to bottom (little, medium, big). Yep. We're weirdos- its official!

Chiada said...

Hahahaha! What a great poem! I love candy corn this time of year too, and it's about the only time I can stand them. I eat the tips off first, then the yellow bottom, then the center. Oh, and I ONLY eat Brach's. I tried a store brand once and they were HORRIBLE!!! My dad has been harboring a huge bag in their cupboard the last couple weeks so I always grab a handful whenever I'm over there, heehee!

Meepers said...

I did forget to add: Only Brachs and tip to top is ok, too. Just so long as you don't eat the sections altogether...sacrilege! Almost as bad as eating DIFFERENT FLAVORS OF JELLYBEANS THAT ARE NOT CAREFULLY CALCULATED TO GO TOGETHER. (Shudders in disgust)

Jen-Again said...

I am tip to top, only I have to take it a step further and eat all the tips in a handful, then all the middles, finally a nice handful of tops.

And, any colored candy- Skittles, M&M's, Starburst get separated by color and eaten from lowest number to highest. I am disturbed.

This is why I never clean my closet- I obsess about clothing order- short sleeves with short sleeves, long with long, then color separated in each grouping. Ugh- easier to let them all comingle in the clean clothes hamper and not give myself an ulcer trying to straighten them out and hang them up.

Chiada said...

LOL Jen-Again.

I eat my M&M's and colored candy by separating them into groups. For instance, if I have a handful of 5 reds, 5 blues, 4 yellow, and 3 greens, then I will sort them into 3 groups that have one of each color, then one group that has one of each color except the green, and then one group that has only the red and blue. Then I eat the group that is the least complete first and eat the most complete groups last.

Closet ordering: mine is grouped by color, with whites starting on the left, followed by beige, tan, brown, yellow, orange, red, teal, blue, purple, and black on the right. Within each color the clothes are grouped by type: from left to right it goes tanks, short sleeves, long sleeves, and sweaters. The exception is that all coats and jackets go to the far right side.

Hehehe. Very sick and demented.

Janet said...

omg not only do I love them, I can eat a bagful in one sitting. It's dangerous, truly.

chiefbiscuit said...

GREAT poem!!!!
Ummm ... being from down-under I don't know what the heck candy corn is! Is my edumacation incomplete? We have JUST this year got orioles avail in NZ after hearing about the darned things for decades on American sitcoms and the like ...
The wedding sounded nice - glad it didn't rain for you.
And I agree 100% re yr views on the plastic surgery - except u put it funnier than i woulda.
BTW I am about to reply to your email. :)

alyndabear said...

Hi there, fellow NaBloPoMo member! :P

I want to know what candy corn taste like. Never tried them.

(I don't live under a rock, by the way, just in Australia.)

desiree said...

My mom left a 12 comment "anonymous" ode to candy corn on my blog. I must say, yours is much more elegant.

Meepers said...

Why thank you, thank you all - For those of you from down unda' really does taste like honey-vanilla-fake-carmel - read: sugar. Pure sugar. Mmmmmm. Scott's words were, "BABE! You HAVE to get these OUT of this house, NOW" (grabbing handfuls as he said it) I complied. There is no longer a single candy corn kernel in my house. I felt slightly jittery yesterday. Wonder why?