Sunday, November 27, 2005


So... also... this one other thing. You guys know how I am one of the Cheapest People on the Planet with regards to myself, nothing but The BEST for all of you, dahhhhlings!

Well, it also just so happens that yesterday I had what can only be described as a shopping orgy. Or, at least, a shopping frenzy. It wasn't one of those pre-planned, wear a cute outfit/nice updo/full-makeup Shopping Expeditions- it just happened. You know, the way that sometimes you start putting on makeup for the day and think, "hey, how about a little eyeshadow and liner for a more pulled-together look for once" and all the sudden you've got the magnifying glass, tweezers, eyelash curlers, eyebrow pencil, 33 shades of eyeshadow (none of which go with your original idea/outfit/look, fresh Q-tips, 3 kinds of concealer, liquid/whipped/powder foundations all over the kitchen table .... and someone's revving the engine while you mutter "just a SECOND! I'm ALMOST ready! I just don't wanna go anywhere looking like CRAP ... for ONCE!!"? You know?

Maybe its just me, than. I had thrown on some jeans and flips, touseled my wet hair and rubbed some products on my face in no particular order. I'd planned to walk down to Borders to get S. the new Echo & the Bunnymen CD (Siberia, in case anyone cares or would like to get it... I've only heard two songs so far) Because I am a Nice and Caring Wife, and my butt needs the Excercise very, very much. And it was a nice September day, anyway.

So I drifted down State street, deposited a check, but I was waylaid right at the corner of State and Carrillo. Bang! My old friends at Shooz, once my lunchtime indulgence, beckoned to me with a sirens' call. Well, really, what would you do if you had a) not shopped for shoes in about seventeen months b) were a recovering shoe addict? c) saw that if you bought one pair of shoes, it would be $25, but if you bought TWO, it would be $40? Really, it was like my civic duty to go and rescue those shoes from....anyone else.

There are now two new pairs of shoes in the Pantheon: a pair of black espadrilles with sparkly black flowers on the toes and a so cute stacked fiber-y heel. A lace that goes through a little loop behind the closed (round) toe and laces to another loop behind my heel and criss-crosses around the ankle and ties in the back. The other pair look a wee bit like a black cowboy boot with a square toe, but they are kind of cloggy-style and (dare I say the Bad Word?) comfortable.

But I made it to Borders and escaped with only getting an adorable teeny-tiny striped 2006 calendar for me. Yeah! I heart teeny calendars!

I wasn't safe yet, though...I still had to venture into Paseo Nuevo territory for a new sleeping shirt for Scott. I cannot tell why this was needed, but suffice it to say that it was imperative that I get a black stretch cotton V-neck T shirt, size L, from Bananna Republic. The thing about Bananna for men here in SB is that it is dangerously close to Victoria's Secret AND Nordy's.

The good news is: I had two gift certificates for VS/Nordy's - yeah! But the rather sucky thing is that all of the cute brassieres and bustiers and totally frivolous items in the fun lacey/flirty/non-industrial shapes... do NOT come in my current (actually, stable ever since I took the Pill/shot/crazy-making drugs which I will never, EVER take again) size. Mmmmrrph! Rasssafrrrashhaummgrabblehooks! I did manage to snag two very cute, comfy, low-rider and on sale pairs of undies, which whilst I'm sure they would never be mother-approved for looks, were, did I mention on SALE.

And than came Nordstrom. Yeah! Here I went past the (massively overpriced) shoes, since I figured that two pairs were quite enough. And straight to my demise. You guessed it. The M.A.C. counter. Where I was swabbed clean, exfoliated, concealed, brushed with the gentle virgin tips of a flat foundation brush, shadowed within an inch of my life in (by my count) no fewer than 9 colors. By a nice girl who somehow managed to convince me that I really owed it to myself to buy not only the concealer, new moisturizing/SPF 15/"dewy-looking" foundation, a killer bronzey eye pencil AND the aforementioned brush. The gift card was...gasping. No, actually, it was dead. It died a quick and honorable death.

The best part about the entire expedtion, aside from the complete and utter luxury of not spending (to much) of my own money while still getting a bunch o' clothes....

Not ONE person asked me "When are you gonna have a baaaby? When? for ... lets see ... like six whole hours.

And that, folks, is a record. An official record, as in hasn't happened in yeeeeearrrrs.

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