Wednesday, December 07, 2005

You Give Me... Fever..

I've always had what could be termed a "vivid imagination" - as witnessed by the fact that as a small child, I carried a box of Morton Salt (you know, like... this..) around with me, wrapped in a dishtowel, and called it my brother. (This was before the girls came along) At about age four, I got a bad combo of pneumonia and the flu while we were on a ski vacation in Tahoe. It came with a complimentary dose of high fever that I *swear* fried my little brain forever. The good news was - I got better fairly quickly (a week or so) ... but the bad news: I can never, ever get too hot while I sleep, or I will get these weird acid-trip/horror movie dreams.

I know, a dream sequence... but surely someone besides me will find these amusing. The first one started out pretty normal- I was out in my (weedy!) yard and spraying it with some sort of weed-killer (I'd talked about doing that the other day). All of the sudden, my entire yard was filled with old-styled British "pram" strollers, and each one had those freakishly real-looking dolls in them. Look - tell me the blonde one isn't flipping you off! And the other one... the eyeeees.. they are looking right THROUGH you, aren't they? (shudders)
I will bite youuuuu!
Dead eyes... dead eyeeees... Just me, is it? I think NOT!
To add to the freakishness, one of the little buggers popped up and BIT me on the hand, and would not let go, so I was flailing around my pram-filled yard with this thing attached to me, and a voice-over from...somewhere goes, "Oh... this one's defective....we're going to have to put it down - just spray it with the weed-killer and I'll take care of the rest."

I'd like to go on record and say I think dream-analysis is by and large, complete bunk. (With the exception of S. taking me to the Brew House a couple of weeks back to get Beef Stroganoff, thus briefly breaking my 15 year long no-beef streak. That was brilliant.)

Than I dreamt that I was in my hometown, at some friends' house, and that I fell asleep with my face in a large, tiffany-blue cupcake. You tell me, people. You tell me. I'm after a cupcake.

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