Thursday, September 28, 2006

Not-so-merry maid

There are those of us who are neat and tidy (See: Chiada, my mom and sister Roni). And there are those of us who....have eight million projects exploding out of our brains at once, all the time. I fall firmly into category B. Here, watch my plea for help on TV. Hey...that rhymes...I could write a poem about being a Walking Disaster! Wow!

However, I've got two new secret weapons: Graciela and Maria.


Chiada said...

Too bad, I'm speaking up. Because my sister Vannie is just like you and does not know how to clean. NOT saying you don't know how to clean! But, I've had to literally stand in her room with her and physically help her clean her room which was a massive explosion of laundry, clean and not-so-clean, art supplies, blankets, shoes, makeup, books, purses, etc.

So, as a cleaning expert, I give you the following tips and tidbits:

1. Don't get overwhelmed.
2. Start small.
3. Pick one area of the house to work on.
4. Set the timer for 30 minutes.
5. Turn on a good CD.
6. If necessary, gather all of the "junk" in that area into one pile.
7. Begin sorting the pile.
8. Sort the pile into different areas such as: trash, things for the bathroom, things that go in the bedroom, books, makeup, wedding supplies, etc.
9. Use as many sub-piles as you need.
10. Put away one pile at a time.
11. When every thing is put away, pull out the vacuum, duster, or whatever you use.
12. Do a quick swoosh of the ceiling, corners, top of the walls for any webs.
13. Get microfiber cloths. They are the best thing and put polishing to shame.
14. Wipe everything down with the microfiber cloth.
15. Toss the used cloth into the dirty laundry.
16. Run a quick vacuum.

You're done!!

See how easy that was?

Now, if your problem stems from not having any place to put the piles away to, then this is what you gotta do:

Rethink what you have and have a garage sale/yard sale, or simply take a trip to Goodwill.

I'm serious. If it's something you haven't used in a year, get rid of it. Simplify, simplify, simplify!! Box up items that you really want to keep but that just don't need to be in the house. Store them in the shed or attic or wherever. Maybe it'd be worth it to rent a small storage unit. $20 a month for a 5x5.

Here's another idea: I know how much you guys like to be gypsies and sleep with the bed on the floor. But for really cheap, you can buy a simple frame to put the mattresses on, which won't take up any floor space than what the bed already takes up. Then you can buy some under-bed plastic storage boxes and put whatever you want in there: whether it's extra clothes, shoes, sheets, blankets, whatever.

Dude. I should be a professional organizer.

Meepers said...

You totally should. The only problem with the non-gypsy (really, its Japanese, not gypsy and I've yet to meet a bedframe that wasn't gunning to break my toes) bed is this: I can't reach the windows to open them. (A Bad Thing)

I do not own one thing I haven't worn recently. Now The Other Person (the one with the whole closet, his own room which overfloweth with clothes, etc.....)? He is another story. The man treasures JUNK MAIL. It is a sickness. Really, I should re-do that video to say, "What should I do with a man who is emotionally attached to CRAP?"

I've re-re-re-re-done the (his) closets/drawers/laundry systems so many times, I can't even count. All for his ungrateful self. Grrr.

Chiada said...

Grrr, that's tough, girl. The Sighing Hampton returns when it comes to his crap.

Hmmm, maybe it's time to get down and mean. Not like you haven't. But what about storing all his stuff in a storage unit? Make him pay for it too out of his separate checking account, LOL. If he wants to keep it that bad, he has to pay to store it off site. For the sake of your sanity!!

Chiada said...

Maybe instead of a Merry Maids you should have a laundry service. I have to do ours once a week or else the hamper would overflow. Being a trademan, Hub-E wears a new pair of pants, shirt, and socks every day of the week. It fills up fast. But I find it's easier to do laundry when I keep up with it on a weekly basis. Otherwise it's too much of a pain in the a** when it piles up and over the edge.

Peter said...

your video link was completely hidden in both firefox & IE. by design?

also, yes, that room is messy. almost as messy as my office cubicle.


desiree said...


Where is the mention of the fab new template? Or am I the only one that can see this? Maybe I am still existing in a temporal plane that is different from yours what with the jet lag/recent time difference and therefore I am seeing what your blog would look like in an alternate reality.

Or not.

It looks good either way.

Meepers said...

Yes, the sighing Hampton strikes. Laundry isn't that big of a deal, if he wants to let it pile up to all heights, thats his problem. Trust me, Graciela and Maria are a way better (and cheaper) solution.

Pete: Video link not meant to be hidden, template changes underway.

Des: Yes, am revamping. Continually.