Thursday, February 01, 2007

Numbers and Letters and thingys

You may have read that Holly and Janet are turning 27 this week? - Let's all say it together: "OohHHhh my gahhhhd.....Tweeeeennnnnteeeee ssseeeeevennn - ooooOOOOOOoooohh that is OLLD! I know of what I speak, being an entire two months and change ahead of them. Seriously - I've been blissfully savoring every moment of my, ahem, MID-twenties, right up till the other day. There were not one, but several Bad Things (Bad Things = silver hairs) and I haven't been able to stop peering at myself in the mirror ever since -not for the pleasure of getting an up-close and personal of my stunningly awesome combonation of adult acne and papery eye skin, but just to see if I can find any more of the little bastards. So far, I haven't found any, but they are lurking, to be sure. The only consolation I have is the fact that I've held out against the Bad Things for a full decade longer than my mom and aunt (due, likely to the fact that I don't have kids - yeah! aNOTHer bonus!)

However, there are more weighty matters at hand: First of all, guess who's turning THIRTY-FRICKIN' NINE in....two days? Mmmmhhmmm....we are officially only one. year. away from this scenario:

The image “http://www.answersingenesis.org/museum/images2004/methuselah.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.= 40. As in, "Yes, my husband is in his forties."
+
= 28. As in, "Yes, I have only been able to legally purchase alcohol for seven years, why do you ask"? Should I just go ahead and start saving for a blond wig and a convertible now? I kid, I kid - and he wants a Porche and prefers me as a redhead. To be honest, I've been waiting for next year with some sort of sick glee since we got married - I couldn't really say why, but something about being in those particular decades is sort of (Family stop reading now, no NOW, no RIGHT THIS SECOND)

..........................I can see you guys trying to scroll down. Go take a hike or something.
.......................................................................
Seriously, take the dog for a pee or go make something out of wood.
..............................................................................................................................................Now.

All clear? The whole 40/28 thing? It's sort of....hot to me, I really couldn't say why - apparently I think I'll morph into some sort of extra-youthful almost-thirty just as he's entering the big 4-O decade. Clearly, I am delusional. But it's sort of nice to wish, right? But seriously, I do have one or two other bits of trivia here.
First, a small toot of my own horn (tooot!) I would like any and all of you who are able to go, right now and purchase the current issue of Santa Barbara Magazine (which should really be called, "Montecito people who live here 3 weeks of the year and like to have their picture taken in expensive clothes."). Open to the "Weddings" section. Clap your hands for me, for yes, yes, that is my couple on the full-page shot. Thanks. Also, a short poll: Do you think I should feature that particular shot as part of an ad I'm getting?

And now, it's time for How The Heck Did you Get Here?, February 07 version. (Otherwise known as "Copying the phrases people Googled and ended up here in lieu of actual posting.") Let's see if it sticks as a regular feature, shall we?
  • cats dogs incestous feral - Ummmm, we don't have dogs. And the cats are NOT related, and they just kiss and hug each other, so this is an all-PG household, thanks.
  • pictures of a coral pink ( pinky orange) bedroom - Well, aren't we specific?
  • video of seacrest tearing griffin's blouse at awards show - I'd actually like to see that - anyone who has this, please go ahead and comment, will ya?
  • little girl squirrel 60s tv show - I really don't remember this one, but we do occasionally call Edie the "little girl squirrel".

6 comments:

Ciarra said...

OH.MY.GAWWWWWWWWWD, that was totally HILARIOUS!!!!! I haven't laughed out loud at a post in... a long time. (I guess it takes a lot to humor me or sumthin'.) Dude, the picture of the Old Man 40 thing, I almost fell over. And then telling the fam to go make something of wood. And THEN the 28/40 thing being hot!! :D :D :D
I'm not quite that bad, but we are nearing the 29/37 thing pretty soon. Whoaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Oh, and I get these little hairs, they're weird. I don't know if they are extreeeemely white blonde, or if they're silver. Especially because they'll only be silver at the top inch of my head and the rest is my real color. Or sometimes I get hairs that skip colors, where the hair starts out my color, then goes white/silver, then my color, then white/silver. What's UP with that????

Post pictures of your Montecito wedding!!!!

Maya said...

Glad I could help cheer up your day. Even dark blondes are better off than deep brown-hairs for hiding silver. The only good thing is that I don't have GRAY hair, it's really silver.
Re wedding: Actually, if you go to the Zen Blues and Greens ....there it is.

girl and dog said...

Mr. T is 40 and I'm turning 31 in a month (ugh) and I find the whole 40-30 thing HOT!!! :) Men are like wine, IMO...They get yummier with age.

As for a few gray hairs, just blame 'em on your crazy brides. That's what hair color is for, so don't fret.

Congrats on the full-page spread of your couple!!

HollowSquirrel said...

Hilarious. Congrats on the couples in the mag! And congrats on the rip-roaring older man sexcapades!

Maya said...

Yeah....I can only hope....right?

Janet said...

Ha! I found a grey hair the other day. Damnit.