Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Dirty Dozen

Have been working, so let's make this one quick, shall we?

Ten Things I'd Like to Say to People, but Won't:

1. Thanks for asking me such a personal question. How often do you ______________ (insert private activity here)
2. Yes, they are real. Now stop staring.
3. Gaucho pants are hideous, even on you.
4. It really hurts my feelings when you act like my opinion doesn't count because of my life choices. Shut up.
5. What I'd really like about now is a stiff drink.
6. But does the carpet match the drapes?
7. No really, I don't have any money to give you. Get a job.
8. Your kid(s) aren't special, they are spoiled brats with an absurd sense of entitlement.
9. Really, I'd be a completely unfit mother... like Britney without the Manny.
10. I AM NOW GOING TO REMOVE YOUR VOICEBOX, because you asked me THE QUESTION ONE LAST TIME.

Special Meme thanks to WordNerd at

  • Do I Have to Call it a Blog?


  • Thing Number 11: (Proof that Thing Number 9 is indeed, correct): Fynn just spent about fifteen minutes staring at me and doing his extra-worried, "Wwooowwwww? Brrrrrrrthhhrrrrrr?" chirpy noises. I ignored him for a while, got up and made sure he had food, and scooped him onto my lap to pet him because usually he's just reminding me that he is indeed, He Who Ruleth Casa de Meepers, and demands are not being met at an adequate pace. I finally got up and followed him, expecting to be taken to our front door and given the big eyes look. Instead, he sat down in front of our hallway linen closet, which has three large drawers below it. Edie had managed to climb into one of them and get herself trapped inside. Good thing I have Fynn, the Wondercat to tell me how to take care of my other pets, isn't it?

    12. Have I told you I've got tadpoles? Tadpoles that are turning into tiny, adorable frogs? Tiny frogs that appear to be disappearing out of the terrarium by magic? Either Edie has frogling-breath, or those my house is going to be a scene out of the Ten Commandments pretty soon.

    Rrrrrrribbbit!

    3 comments:

    Wordnerd said...

    Awesome list -- in fact, I wish I'd have thought of 1, 7, & 8 myself! Isn't this a great exercise? Thanks for the visit & the shoutout. And your blog looks good -- you changed the font or something, right?

    the sightspeed guy said...

    #2 I get that all the time. SOOO annoying.

    wkudv

    desiree said...

    Remember the pact I entered you into over at my blog? Every time you ask "the question" an angel loses its wings. Muah ah ahhhh. I am recruiting more people for the club so we can be awesome together.

    Thanks for visiting my place. I was planning on telling you about it, when I had a chance to sit down and concentrate.