Sunday, October 29, 2006

The Answers

First can I say this? I love, love, love Trader Joe's black taper candles. They illuminate without drawing any attention to themselves at all. Next, I have devised a set of the Answers that I would like to have printed up on pretty, pretty paper with a cool font and borders...possibly by Joy? They should be small and tear off, about like a raffle ticket. I'd like a roll of them to carry around with me at all times. Here they are, in no particular order:

-Congratulations! You are 10, 57_th person to meddle in my personal life! See bottom for prize details.
-No Womb in Here. (Or: Not Just an Empty Womb)
-Child-Free, not Child-less.
-Maybe you can suggest how exactly we should be doing it for "optimal results".
-Accepting contributions for adoption fees. Visa or MasterCard?
-Because my heart is made of coal.
-Just as soon as you reverse your cranio-rectal inversion.
-Far too depressed over missing the deadline for bearing the 300 millionth American
-As soon as you can explain to me how exactly that is your concern.
-Far to Selfish. (Totally O.k. with that.)
-When I figure it out, you'll be the 47th one to know.
-Fertile with Ideas.
-Haven't got our parenting license in the mail yet.
-My Hips Do Lie.
-Because I broke my egg-baby in seventh grade.

Your snarky additions welcome.

1 comment:

Chiada said...

I would REEEEALLY like to see a video of the reactions on people's faces when you reply with one of those responses. Especially the "Maybe you can suggest how exactly we should be doing it for "optimal results"" one. Classic!