Thursday, January 11, 2007

Not Near, but Dear

Phone call from today:

Maya: "Hello, papa!"
Dad: "Hello (absurd nickname that I cannot divulge, for fear of being mocked by The Internet forever)!....How's your toilet doing?" (Genial chuckle turns into whoop of mirth at my plumbing woes)
Maya: "Great....the carpet finally dried out, so we finally got to turn off the fans." (Frantically trying to think of any entries that might disturb Parental Units, immediately deciding it would be far to much work and that they probably won't drive out from Colorado to yell at me.the -)
Dad: "Well, I was calling because I'm looking at your blog with high-speed internet. What's the deal with all those different sites coming up when I click on the words in your entry?
Maya: (smothering laughter) "Those...are...called...links. When I put them into the text, it is usually because I'm referencing something else. See how when you click on "plumbers" it pulls up a picture of the ...plumber from Desperate Housewives?" (Yes, my dad watches - I can hardly blame him, c'mon ... can you say the words Eva Longoria?)
Dad: "OhhhhhHHH....I was wondering what a hollow squirrel was, and I could tell it wasn't your writing. (Boring chat about how to download Firefox, because yea verily it is better than Internet Explorer ensue here.) We can't wait to read all your archives...and guess what?
Maya: (renewing vow to edit all old posts) "What's that, dad?"
Dad: "We're getting a new computer." (Please note the last (first!) computer they ever purchased was bought in 2000 and has been confusing the hell out of them ever since.)

Sweet cracker sandwich! To top all that wild excitement off, I have my mothers' promise that we will sit down* on the phone for a little Internet 101 tomorrow. I tell you, wonders never cease- next thing you know they'll be getting indoor plumbing out there in Colorado. Everyone be nice and say hi to my parents now, ok? And no more gratuitous cursing in the comments, huh?

*My mother, for whom sitting down is an act of extreme difficulty. My youngest sister once asked her, "Mommy, you sleep?" in sheer astonishment. My sister was about five at the time, which meant my mother had already been a parent for about eleven or twelve years, without a nap. I don't think I've gone eleven or twelve weeks sans nap.


Also - Know what's better than a Reeses? If you take a bittersweet chocolate truffle and daub a little peanut butter on it. Sort of reverse, gourmet Reeses' lump.


Mr. W said...

I find it best to just let the "older folk" find the computers on their own. My mother took to the Internet and computers right away. However, she's very cheap and very reluctant to buy a new one. Cell phones and my parents are another issue. Do your parents have cell phones they use and then shut off after they call people. I don't think my parents have ever received a call on their phones... Tragic!

Anonymous said...

If your dad doesn't even know what a hollow squirrel is, how can he master a new computer? tsk tsk. ;)

Hi Maya's parents! Tell us again what Maya's nickname is! And any good stories from her youth... spill 'em!

Chiada said...

Hahahahaha... hmmm, I wonder what Maya's nickname could be. Does it start with a P? And end with a B? LOL :D *wicked grin*

Hi Mom and Dad!! How's it out there in cold snowy beautiful Colorado? We are having records lows the next few nights, dipping into the 20's! Well, that's Santa Maria at any rate. Miss you guys!

Things I think of when I think of you two (which is often): a little beat up red truck; a white leather couch with two bobbleheads poking up from under a shared blanket; home made tacos; a huge black dog with wavy fur; chess with Hector; books and more books; service in the van; oversized bath towels hanging from pegs; and lots lots more!

the sightspeed guy said...

Hey there, how's it going? Apologies for not updating my page...I've been going crazy with YouTube stuff, and a new show with DirecTV (shhh). Got new video editing software, fun fun fun, now I can add pics and sounds to the news, and I'm in a suit! HAHAHA! Holla

Baja Babe said...

I curse the day I mentioned to my parents that I have a blog. Not kidding, I have seriously considered a cyber-move, b/c now my mother will call me almost every day to analyze my posts...*sigh* No more trash-talking my family behind their backs! ;)

Glad your toilet's feeling better! :)

Maya said...


Pete: We've missed you...I don't know what's going on in the world sans SightSpeed... Can't wait for news of your new enterprises!

Baja Babe: I actually (sort of) started this to keep in touch with them, a sort of running letter about what's new. Somehow the reality of it seems different than the possibility of it happening, someday.

Mr. W: Welcome!

Anonymous said...

It ends with a B, is this a real word? I need another hint.

little sis 2 said...

hahaha. that is so not fair!! i leave for a measly two and a half months, and what do they do but get high speed AND a new computer!! when i get back, okay, i guess i will be stoked, but still! so, ATTENTION everyone: here is the nickname- PIA BUTT or PEEB, sometimes just PB. how this came about is a long drawn out process, but there it is- the titles in which M actually prefers to be referred to by. please use them instead of anyother name you may have used previously.

Baja Babe said...

LOL...Don't you love siblings? ;)

Maya said...



Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha. cat is out of the bag- PIA BUTT!!! hahahahahahahahaha!